A Month Anniversary!

News!!
Today, 27th September is our (DBN03) one month anniversary!
The class I love a lot..
Actually the first time we met was on 26th,
But, that day,
we disliked each other a lot.
lol!
But the next day, we slowly got close

Although now we are not classmates anymore,
But, I really thank God a lot for bringing them to me.
We are all from different provinces, but that's why we are special.
We learned a lot from each other

We chatted a lot.
about love, life, happiness, sadness, etc..
Of course I never told mine.
They asked my advice a lot,
And I couldn't just tell everyone about my problem.
I need to be strong, so they can rely on me.

Everyone who has chosen me as the vice-monitor (DBN03) & now, the monitor of 01PQT,
thanks a lot, I will work harder. (T.T ,  the tasks re too much though)
Btw, I was forced by them to be the monitor!

Danced to AKB48 - Heavy Rotation (lyric changed),
We really worked very hard!! so proud of u guys.
We are Binus48 a.k.a BNS48
And thanks the BC-s (Buddy Coordinators) who have been accompanying us until now.
:)

Hopefully, we can remain as friends forever..
DBN03, fighting!

It's Milk

These days, I'm doing good?
maybe~

Am feeling guilty right now..
Accidentally turned off my friend's laptop while it's still on
I thought it's off.
Urgh! he's angry with me.
I did apologize though.
Sorry ):

put that aside, I'm totally fine.
a month here, sometimes, I don't really feel comfortable.
but, it's alright I guess?

I have class tomorrow at 7.20! (0.32 now, it's supposed to be today)
Sleep, I'm trying,
But, whenever I wanted to sleep,
I would suddenly think of Avo

These days, I didn't drink any Avocado juice.
I tried my very best so I wouldn't think of it.
However, speak truthfully,
whenever 'Avocado juice' comes out to menu,
whenever my songs shuffled to 'Sad Song'-s
whenever I'm 'alone',
they just remind me of thee.

I wonder when will this stop..

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We had ourselves posed like freaks with serious to cute faces,
I will post them next time
See u~

it's Tea

'Care'

Promise myself wasn't really a good thing to start with.
Now I failed.

Yes, I'm still thinking of ..... you guess*
I'm thinking of the reasons why there's no news at all..
I mean, maybe, because something happened?
However, if ya have a problem, ya would tell me rite?
so, I'm quite sure, it's not about that.
But, somehow, I'm not sure either.
confusing.. urgh! Stress!!

Why do I care a lot!??
I'm dumped!!
remember!
D-U-M-P-E-D
And maybe another fact, I am hated.

hate it a lot when I have to deal with this feeling.

Okay, let's switch topic, before I go further.
Today was my first day of studying.. Campus life B)
I quite understood the subject.
It's math.
But, I still need to ask my buddies to teach the difficult part.
quite worried, yes, indeed..
I have to make sure I can make it

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Just came back from friend's boarded room.

although it's boarded,

You can tell that it looks like hotel room than boarded room.

It's complete.. yes, I mean, complete in real meaning.

Refrigerator, TV, etc.....

I think I can stay there forever..

full of snacks, drinks, urgh!!!

Here's some Trying-to-be-cute-with-dolls pics we captured :

L to R : Jonathan, Shella, Jessica, Erwin, tutu(me)

L to R : Jonathan, Shella, Jessica, Erwin, tutu(me)

Shella is the room owner..

She is quite wealthy, but not the type who uses wealth as power.

That's why we like her..

We call her with Ndoro (quite like 'Miss' with high manner)

She is from semarang..

So, the Jawa accent is very strong,

And I love it a lot.. I am currently learning from her.

Hoho

These days, I'm spending nights, hanging out with a lot of them.

It's very nice :D

it's Tea

4Tomorrow

Hey there,
Tomorrow, here starts my life.
My first semester finally!
After the orientation things,
General Orientation,
Academic Orientation,
Now finally the last one..
Campus Life Orientation,
But not really an orientation, it can be counted as a real one.

It is supposed to be starting today.
but, I have no class for every Monday and Wednesday

Excited? YES!
Me now, I'm quite okay.
I will be okay,
That's what I need to keep in my mind.

Everyone has been asking me this,
'When your heart breaks, it will take a long time to recover, won't it?
so how are you going to deal with it? How to  gain confidence and move on and cheer up?'

Well, I, myself, am having the same problem.
And it's very hard, should admit it.
Everytime, the songs shuffled, wish it weren't sad songs.
Once, they were played,
I definitely teared up again.
I really wanted to press stop though,
but somehow, sad songs have words that we wanted to say so badly to them.
So, I failed eventually.
==> back to topic

As for now, I still think of <that person>, still..
But, my reason for studying here is to be successful,
I have goals.. I'm here to make proud my parents, esp. mom
another reason might be <<A>>
But, from the start, it's only me, only me, that kept trying.
It's my fault anyway, that we never met even though I'm here.
So, even if we have chance (again), I will back off. (not sure)
Having one-sided love is definitely painful.
That person will never think of us, so let them be.

I make a lot of friends here.
like, a lot!
My classmates respect me, and I like them very much..
In just a month, we re already very close.
And I find happiness from them.
I join a lot of clubs
(Activist for computer club & english club, Debate club, Public Speaking class)
Don't know if I can make it, but I will do my best.

That's all I can do.
I just need to keep myself busy that way.
Yes, I'm running away from my love matter.
But, I really enjoy doing things with them,
It makes me forget about the matter for a while.

I'm still not that cheerful yet,
But, I will keep trying.

it's Coffee

Lies & Truth

I'm okay.
I'm going to be fine.
I'm smiling right now.
I don't miss you.
I don't think about you anymore.
I'm going to be just fine like days back then.

I'm trying to keep those words repeatedly in my mind.
Fool me.
When I said bye, I wish you would ask me why,
so I could answer 'Because I like you so much
It's very difficult for me these past weeks.
I kept trying to confirm myself,
Whether Do you ever think of me like I do?
Not as a friend.
Meeting you was what I really anticipated.
Every second, words, expectations, hopes were running down my nerves.
And in a second my heart breaks.'

I was freaking happy when you asked me a movie date.
I thought, it's very impossible.
I thought that, that Saturday, we're going to really do it.
But, in the end, there's no news about you.
And today, 21st September,
If I didn't say my goodbye yesterday,
would you ask me?

Right after I said bye,
I regretted because it's too soon for me to give up.
But, somehow,
My heart couldn't bear it anymore.
I kept starring at phone,
kept starring until you deleted me.

What's going to change when we're already over anyway?
Though I know, because of my small expectations,
I keep looking at your name and burst into tears..
again and again..

I'm not okay.
I'm hurt.
I'm crying right now.
I miss you so badly.
I keep thinking of you.
It is going to be breaking days for me like back then.

Please be fine there.
You will do your best.
Just forget everything.
I'm sorry I ever came into you.
There will be no Avocado anymore.

9 months, I kept hoping for a reply..
And it will still continue..
Suffering over..
until when, I don't know..
In the end, I'm just a fool.

it's bitter Coffee

It's because I miss you more today

It’s because I miss you more today

Are you doing well, are you still the same?

Don’t worry too much, I’m just a little bit not over you

It’s because of the rain and I feel moody

So I thought of you

Will you come back? Will you come back?

One heart fluttering night

I waited all night in a dark room

I waited and waited for you and I cried a lot

Because I know it won’t work even if we meet

I waited and waited for you

I really hate you so much

But I hate myself for still crying and smiling because of you alone

It’s because I miss you more today

More because the wind feels cool and the weather is nice

If time passes a little, will I be able to see you?

If you meet someone good and become happy

Will you forget me?

The more I think that it’s over

I miss you so much that

I miss you, I miss you

I cried a lot

Because no matter how much I try, you won't come

But still, if I wait for you, if I keep longing for you

Maybe you'll look at me once more

So I wait for you

It's because I miss you more today

Waiting

it was what I used to do back then,
it is what I'm doing right now,
Do I even stand a chance?

Frustrated, a lot.
Thanks to the distractions from friends,
I am able to think positively,
but still, I don't know how to put this.

I really wanted to end this affair.
But, I knew I would cry over this.

I haven't got any reply since 4 days ago.
I mean, I sure texted 'night',
and no reply.
Sometimes I really wanted to text first,
but thinking about what it caused back then,
I don't want to do it again.
How if it is very disturbing?
although the answer might be 'alrite'?

Sometimes it hypes me when we're joking, chatting, etc..
It gives me hope,
but on the other hand,
when there's no news, it frustrates me a lot.
I try my best to cheer up.
Like, if this will make one side happy,
I will be happy. as simple as that.

Do you think of me like I think of you?
Probably never..
....

it's Coffee